Support groups expect an increase in domestic violence over the holiday season

Despite the joy of the holidays, there is a dark side to this time of year. It is a time when violence and neglect increase among families.

“The holidays are a wonderful time for many people, but there is also a lot of stress that comes along with the holidays. So there is an increase in domestic violence cases that occur when these stressors occur and often during the holidays,” said Lariana Forsythe, CEO of CASA Pinellas, the county’s official provider of domestic violence and support services.

Domestic violence is about “power and control,” she said. During the holidays, abusers may feel like they are losing control because they are not able to isolate the person they are abusing as they usually do in the midst of family gatherings and public events.

This can lead them to behave more privately, but also give friends and relatives the opportunity to spot warning signs.

Forsythe expects an increase in calls for help starting in January, when people return to more normal schedules and have a chance to process what may have happened during the holidays.

Children are also at risk

Advocates working with survivors of child abuse and neglect are bracing for a similar surge.

Reports typically increase 10 percent to 20 percent after the holidays, when children return to school and may open up to others about abuse, said Mike Trepper, president and CEO of Pasco Kids First.

The organization is one of 26 Child Advocacy Centers in the state. It aims to provide a safe space for children during abuse investigations and provides trauma support services.

Children are more likely to be left unsupervised during the holidays or have to spend time with friends or relatives they usually don’t see who could hurt them.

Parents or guardians who are struggling emotionally or financially can also take the holiday stress off of children.

“So they have to manage their own stress, find their own stress relief, seek mental health support and understand that things trickle down to the kids that we might not see often,” she said. Trepper said. “And kids may not share how it’s affecting them until it’s almost too late.”

How to get help

Child abuse and neglect can affect any community, although the risk is greater when a family member struggles with addiction, Trepper said.

There is no such thing as a typical survivor of domestic abuse, warns Forsythe. But most of them are women.

“Again, predominantly gender, but you see domestic violence in every ethnic group. You see it at every socioeconomic level. It really doesn’t discriminate. And you can’t tell by looking at the surface who is dealing with domestic violence,” she said.

Abuse is something that grows over time.

“It’s a long process to prepare someone to doubt their choices. If they are constantly being told they are wrong, you may start to distrust your own judgment. There are (are) a lot of factors like, again, back to isolation. If you don’t have your community talking to you and helping you say, “Well, what that perpetrator did or that person did to you might not be the right thing or that point of view would it might not be the right point of view,” she said.

Florida has a system of official organizations that can help domestic violence survivors get to a safe place and get their lives back together, Forsythe said. It all starts with a call to the Florida Domestic Violence Hotline, which will direct you to an official local provider. This number is 1-800-500-1119.

And for family or friends who suspect they know someone being abused, Forsythe said the best thing to do is listen without judgment.

If a child confides in you about abuse, it’s critical to believe them, Trepper added.

“There’s sometimes a misconception about it and that’s why we see continued harm to children because people, often adults, kind of neglect them,” he said.

You can let the experts ultimately come up with a plan of action, but it’s your job to take the kids seriously, Trepper said.

To report known or suspected child abuse, contact 1-800-962-2873.

If you think someone may be in immediate danger, call 911.