A psychologist’s guide to setting realistic 2025 resolutions

TANZANIA: Have you ever gotten caught up in the excitement of setting New Year’s resolutions? We’ve all been there! Let’s face it – there’s something so hopeful and appealing about the idea of a “fresh start.” New Years, Mondays, or the first of every month – they all seem to carry some kind of psychological magic that makes us hopeful about achieving all of our goals. With 2025 around the corner, you may feel the same pull to set resolutions and finally stick with them.

Research has been conducted on a phenomenon called the fresh start effect, which explains why we are more motivated to pursue goals at the beginning of new cycles, such as a new year, a new week, or even a new birthday.

These moments often create a mental separation between the “old you” and the “new you.” We see the past as something we can leave behind, giving us a sense of psychological freedom to rewrite our story.

If 2024 wasn’t your best year or felt unproductive, the arrival of 2025 feels like a clean slate. We feel there is a chance to redefine who we are and work towards our goals. The promise of a new year aligns perfectly with this transformational drive.

That’s why we love the idea of ”New Year, New Me”. Even though we know deep down that change takes time, the idea of starting over feels encouraging. But here’s the problem: motivation at a fresh start is like a spark – it gets things going, but it doesn’t keep the fire burning.

What if, this year, we approached esolutions differently? Let’s focus on growth, self-compassion and sustainability and make room for life’s events rather than being too hard on ourselves for not sticking to our resolutions. Here’s a psychologist’s guide to setting realistic (and sustainable) 2025 resolutions.

Choose sustainable goals

Instead of aiming for extreme transformations, think about what fits your life and what is realistic in the long term. If you have a goal where you say “I will work out every day for an hour”. This can make you feel guilty on days when you’re busy or traveling or have something important on your calendar. Instead – “I will move my body for 15 minutes at least 3 times a week” is low stakes, can be conveniently accommodated in your schedule, and is flexible.

By starting small, you build a foundation. You can always increase the intensity later, but it’s better to start with goals that aren’t overwhelming. Remember, a resolution that lasts is better than one that wears out.

Don’t rely too much on motivation

Motivation is fleeting. It feels powerful at first, but when the initial excitement wears off, we’re left with the reality of hard work.

Focus on habits, not motivation. Motivation may start the journey, but habits are the autopilot that keeps you going. Instead of committing to an extreme goal like eating healthy every day, commit to eating salad or trying to eat as much protein as possible as part of your diet.

Four steps forward, two steps back means two more steps forward

Life is not a straight line and progress is not linear. Imagine you have decided to save money. In a month, you stick to your budget perfectly. But then you need money for your friend’s wedding or an emergency repair and you overspend. Instead of wallowing in guilt and giving up, remind yourself, “I’m still farther than when I started.”

This mindset helps you dust yourself off and keep moving forward. You’re still making progress, even if it’s slower than you’d hoped.

Be compassionate with yourself

Would you ever say to a friend, “Whoa, you screwed up again? You will never understand it”? Of course not. So why do we talk to ourselves like this? Self-compassion is a game changer when it comes to sticking to resolutions. If you decide to eat healthier, try to stick to it most days. If one day you gorge yourself on pizza and ice cream, you need to move on instead of beating yourself up about it. Instead of thinking, “I screwed up,” try saying, “Today was tough, and I handled it the best way I knew how. Tomorrow is a new day and I will try again.”

Compassion means recognizing that you are human, treating yourself with kindness, and allowing room for mistakes and growth.

Align your goals with what matters

Sometimes resolutions fail because they are based on society’s standards of how we should be rather than what we really care about – losing weight, working harder and being more productive. But the most meaningful resolutions come from your core values. If you want to add something to your knowledge and to broaden your horizons, instead of “Read 50 books this year,” try “Spend 20 minutes every night reading something that inspires me.”

When your resolutions reflect what you really care about, they feel more intentional and you’re more likely to stick to them.

As we prepare to welcome 2025 with much fanfare, let’s remind ourselves that 2025 doesn’t have to be about a “new you.” The current you are already pretty great. May it be the year of sincere efforts, making room for our humanity, less pressure, and goals that feel like a natural extension of who you already are!

Happy birthday in advance.